my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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