you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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