I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
