Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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