If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
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