Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
