I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
