My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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