I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
