But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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