i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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