just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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