11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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