there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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