I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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