there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
