so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
