So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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