the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I am naked and annoyed.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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