I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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