I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize