My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
