dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
