even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
