But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
