was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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