better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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