On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize