found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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