I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
