I wish I could teleport
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize