i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
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Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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