That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
