everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
