what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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