Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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