The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm eating all of the evidence.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
