Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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