Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
