Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
