I'm jealous of your bromance
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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