Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.