I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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