but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
