D3 body, D1 cock
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
