fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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