you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
