i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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