To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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