i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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