You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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