I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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