Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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