my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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