Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
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I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
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You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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