Kiss
Puke
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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