some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
