Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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