You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
