Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
