please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
