I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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