can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I wish there were birth control emojis
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
